I know what you said, but I’m the real reason.

You know how people say children blame themselves for their parents divorce.  Well I do that but whenever my parents have to  move to a new church I know the “real” underling reason has to do with me. Now I know perfectly well that whenever we had to move growing up it wasn’t because of me but the little conciseness in the back of my head will always wisper in my ear telling me other wise , and that voice always partly convinces me. Now this blaming thing didn’t happen for me until about middle school when we where moving from North Dakota back to Texas. I had moved 3 times previously in my lifetime.

Now here is were I’m going to list the reason why we had to move everytime and I’ll even list the reason why my parents had to move even when I didn’t live with them or was even was apart of the church they were  in at the moment. (the last part is what makes me want to push the little whispers in my head over a cliff… because there is no way it’s truth)

Move from North Dakota from Texas: My parents daughter (me) was into punk music (christian punk music fyi), she wore baggy jeans, she was rummered to smoke cigarettes ( i didn’t/ don’t and no one ever had evidence to see this other then i was using tanning products and i was skinny), she is too boycrazy  ( i was boycrazy)

Move from Texas to Washington: My parents daughter (me) is too vocal about what she thinks the youth group should  be more involved in ie: trouble teens lives, She doesn’t think games where you tell who your Hollywood crush is an appropriate game for youth leader meeting (it isn’t especially for a supposid God focused group and it’s call lust), She is boycrazy (by this time not really), She also isn’t very good at school.

When we moved to Washington I lived there a year so people did know me but I then moved to Oregon to go to school so I’m no longer apart of my parents moving.

Move from Washington to another place in Washington: My parents had to move because their daughter never fit in with their popular kids and never attended their after high school group called acts. Also, she liked punk music and didn’t hang out with the church kids. ( on a side note I would have hung out with those kids but they were so clickish) …Also, something about those people liking my brother more then me.

My parents move from 2nd Washington place to Texas: In my head the reason for this move is because the lead pastor didn’t want to be the officiant for my wedding and the only way he felt he could get out of it was to be a not so nice word and person to my dad.  Also, this was probably fueled by my answer to his question “Why do you want me to be the officient and not your dad?” I said, ” Because I don’t want my dad to have to work on my wedding day… I just want him to be my dad.”.

and that is what goes on inside my head. I don’t know why, but sometimes they seem so true.



October 10, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , . ahh people, pk stuff. Leave a comment.